Vulnerability: Four Pillars of Coregulation, Part 2
When you expose your inner world, you invite the other person to step in your direction, which they often do, feeling pulled to respond in kind.
Authenticity: Four Pillars of Coregulation, Part 1
It means being true to yourself—living in alignment with your values, beliefs, and desires rather than conforming to external expectations.
Black and White Thinking
The left brain loves to categorize life into opposites, black or white, right or left, up or down. But when the complicated parts of life get forced into either/or categories, results can get weird and destructive.
Curiosity Is a Superpower
With practice and consistency you can discover better answers to why you do what you do. The human heart is deep. Curiosity helps you access the depths.
Forging Core Values (With Examples)
Have you ever considered the principles that you want to govern your life? Consider this: No one stumbles into success. Or, there are no accidental saints.
Sex Addiction and the Nervous System, Part 3: Dorsal Vagal
Men with a sexual addiction use sex, porn and masturbation to pull themselves out of a pit of despair, out of a state of dysregulation and shut down. This pattern then gets wired in the brain.
Sex Addiction and the Nervous System, Part 2: Fight-or-Flight
Sex became a way of soothing the nervous system and coming out of elevated dysregulation. Sex became relief. They learned that “acting out” could calm the body and even lull them to sleep.
Sex Addiction and the Nervous System, Part 1: Ventral Vagal
When your nervous system deems your surroundings safe, you move about life with relative ease, getting things done, interacting with people as you need and want to, and feeling pretty good overall.
Getting Organized for Recovery (With Examples)
It can be a good idea to clean up and organize your life. Your environment matters. Like breathing pollutant air to your lungs, living in chaos and stress in your personal life erodes your mental health and recovery.
You Need a Purpose
Without a sense of purpose life can feel like a bag of sand you drag around behind you. You have less energy and less inspiration. A strong sexual sobriety and recovery require purpose!
Your Wife Wants You to Lead the Healing Process
Wives often find themselves leading post-discovery, but she does not want to! Give her the feeling that you are taking this seriously, that you are doing everything necessary to help your relationship heal and grow.
30 days of celibacy to restore dopamine
On the other side of this celibacy period will be your brain’s renewed ability to experience pleasure in the little things—a cup of coffee, a walk in the park, holding your wife’s hand—even eventually the seemingly mundane day-to-day unfolding of your life.