About me: How life led me to counseling
My parents grew up, met and were married in southern California. I was their first and only child, born in Redondo Beach in July of 1986. Although their marriage would end a few years later, I grew up receiving my parents’ love and was nurtured in a Christian household under my father’s care.
My father, stepmother and I left southern California for western Washington when I was five. We settled in a small town called Eatonville, south of Seattle an hour, not far from beautiful Mount Rainier. I have memories driving up Rainier and hiking the trail to Comet Falls and eating lunch at the base of the hundred-foot waterfall with my family.
From the time I was five years old, every summer, spring break and winter I’d hop on an airplane to go spend time with my mother.
Eventually, I became a big brother to two brothers and two sisters, a sister and brother from my dad and stepmother and a brother and sister from my mother, so I was both the oldest and an only child (biologically).
My growing up years were in many ways peaceful and blessed and in other ways sad and lonely. But most importantly, my upbringing was watched over by God.
Faith was important from the time I was young. I was brought up on Christian music from the 90s like Audio Adrenaline and DC Talk and we found great communities of faith in my junior high and high school years that shaped me deeply.
Academic and work life
In late high school, although I was quiet and shy, I felt a pull to attend Bible college and pursue youth ministry. I enrolled at Life Pacific College (now Life Pacific University) and received my bachelor’s degree in biblical studies.
I was not concerned about making money or becoming a professional at this time. I wanted to work a simple job and do ministry on the side, but this naivety luckily broke down in my early 30s.
For the first two years of our marriage, my wife and I taught English in South Korea to elementary students. After we moved back to the states, I had no sense of direction and being a therapist had literally never crossed my mind. I decided to take some time to pray for guidance. Alongside deep soul-searching, the thought of counseling kept coming into my mind. The more I mulled it over, the more I prayed, the more it clicked and felt like it was the next right step.
I attended Regent University’s online Master’s degree in Marriage, Couple and Family Counseling and graduated in the summer of 2021.
Family life and Coeur d’Alene
My wife, oldest son (who was not yet one at the time) and I moved from western Washington—where we had lived most of our lives—to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho in January of 2022. My first counseling job was at Cultivation Counseling in Post Falls where I worked with all kinds of clients. I am very grateful to my colleagues there who supported and encouraged my budding career.
At the time of this writing, my wife and I have been married for eleven years and we have two beautiful boys. Coeur d’Alene is home and we couldn’t be happier about loving and serving this community.
Unintentionally: Becoming a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
While working toward my counseling degree, I had no intention of specializing in sex addiction post-graduation. In fact, I didn’t realize it could even be a specialization. But I did a part of my internship with Heidi Kinsella, a great therapist and CSAT and she introduced me to this work and gave me the opportunity to co-facilitate a group which revealed to me how much I loved it.
What this work means to me
Eventually I completed my CSAT training and haven’t looked back. I found early on and continue to find that I am drawn to help men with a sexual addiction, and beyond that to helping forge great men in general for the benefit of their families and communities.
I am perpetually impressed and inspired by my clients. This is some of the hardest work anyone could ever do: take full responsibility of past behavior, live in the light of integrity, work hard to help wives and partners heal, war against lusts of the flesh, and step fully into their intimate relationships. This is tough work and I admire them every day.
Am I myself in recovery?
Though I am not in recovery myself, I relate to my clients in many ways. I can relate to feeling overwhelming shame and guilt. I can relate to hurting loved ones and feeling stuck in ineffective and dysfunctional relationship patterns. I can relate to battling lust. I can relate to not dealing with my wounds and bleeding out onto my marriage. I am by no means cured of my faults and struggles, but I know firsthand what it’s like to walk through darkness and fire.
What I do outside the therapy office
When I’m not working, I love spending time with my family, making my sons laugh, doing anything outdoors and getting sun on my face, reading, writing, learning, and swinging kettlebells. But the most important thing about me is my faith. Following Christ defines me above all else.
My privilege and hope for the future
I am honored to do the work I do. It’s a privilege to know and walk alongside good men. I don’t take it lightly. I am thankful every day I get to be their therapist.
My desire is simply to help. I strive to make Threshold Counseling a beacon of hope, a service to the greater community of Coeur d’Alene and beyond. May God use it despite me.